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Guide · A1 · 4 min read
Tú or usted? When to be formal in Spanish
The short answer
Use tú with friends, family, children and people your own age in relaxed settings. Use usted with strangers, older people, at work and with anyone you’d address formally. Usted takes the same verb form as él and ella (¿Cómo está usted?). When in doubt, start with usted; if they use tú with you, switch.
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Key points
- Tú for friends, family and peers. Usted for strangers, older people and work.
- Usted uses the él/ella verb form: ¿Cómo está usted?
- Polite commands use the subjunctive form: Espere aquí, por favor.
- Not sure? Start with usted, and follow the other person’s lead.
Two ways to say “you”
Spanish has a friendly “you” (tú) and a polite one (usted). Usted comes from an old phrase meaning “your grace”, which is why it still feels respectful today.
- ¿Cómo está usted?How are you? (polite)
- ¿Estás ocupado?Are you busy? (friendly)
Memory hookCareful with the accent: tú is “you”; tu without it means “your”.
Who gets tú, who gets usted
| Usually tú | Usually usted |
|---|---|
| Friends and family | Strangers, especially older people |
| Children | At work, with clients and bosses |
| People your age, socially | Officials, doctors, shop staff (more so in Latin America) |
Customs vary by country. Spain uses tú readily, even with strangers your own age. Many parts of Latin America lean more on usted, and in some places, such as parts of Colombia, usted is common even between friends.
How the verb changes
Usted means “you”, but grammatically it behaves like “he” or “she”: it takes the él/ella form of the verb. The plural ustedes takes the ellos form.
| estar | tener | |
|---|---|---|
| yo | estoy | tengo |
| tú | estás | tienes |
| él / ella / usted | está | tiene |
| nosotros | estamos | tenemos |
| vosotros | estáis | tenéis |
| ellos / ellas / ustedes | están | tienen |
So: tú tienes but usted tiene; tú estás but usted está.
Polite commands
Telling someone formally to do something uses the subjunctive form: take the yo form, drop the -o, swap the vowel.
- Firme aquí, por favor.Sign here, please.
- Espere aquí, por favor.Wait here, please.
- Cierren la puerta, por favor.Close the door, please. (to a group)
Practise this in Huerta
These levels teach it, with every word and example reviewed at just the right moment:
Questions
Is it rude to use tú?
Not with friends, family or people your age in relaxed settings. With strangers, older people or at work, usted is safer until they invite you to use tú.
Which verb form goes with usted?
The él/ella form: usted es, usted tiene, ¿cómo está usted? Ustedes takes the ellos form: ustedes son, ustedes tienen.
Do people use usted in Spain?
Yes, but less than in much of Latin America. Spaniards often use tú with strangers their own age, and usted with older people and in formal situations.
Keep reading
- All levels · 4 min readSpain vs Latin American Spanish: what really changesSpain vs Latin American Spanish: the everyday words that change (coche or carro), vosotros and ustedes, vos in Argentina, and the accent.
- B1 · 5 min readThe Spanish subjunctive, explained simplyWhen Spanish uses the subjunctive: wishes, hopes, feelings, doubt and “so that”. How to form it in three steps, the irregular verbs, and real examples.